A Familiarity Bias.
I'm single, maybe.
I'm not, and I am.
I sensed he needed space,
Because I couldn't shake the knowing that
I needed space
Because his words could not tell me,
"Go on, git!"
Familiar joke.
"Go on, GET!" familiar joke reply.
The old familiar daily,
The kiss good morning.
The old familiar daily,
The hug hello.
The old familiar daily,
Waiting for him to get out of the bathroom because it's my turn...
The new familiar daily,
Feeling both ready to move forward and not wanting to leave his dailies.
The new familiar daily,
Knowing I could make a quantum leap any moment in career and home.
The new familiar daily,
Knowing that I prefer words in alignment with actions.
The old familiar hope,
This is going to get better.
The old familiar hope,
He's going to feel better.
The old familiar hope,
This will feel light in the body soon.
The new familiar faith,
Hope is futile.
The new familiar faith,
My path is unfolding in divine timing.
The new familiar faith,
If it's meant to be, it'll come to me.
The old familiar pressure,
Get a job they'll understand.
The old familiar pressure,
Commit to something you don't like because it gets you paid and it gets you health insurance benefits.
The old familiar pressure,
Commit to something everything else will understand.
The new familiar pressure,
Know what you want and why you want it.
The new familiar pressure,
Each decision must align with purpose.
The new familiar pressure,
Focus in on a niche and hire an coach to get results.
The new familiar pressure,
Execute the physical workout each day for the next three months.
The new familiar pressure,
Communicate what you want to do and what you have been doing.
The old familiars are funny, because they are patterns that I had with my father as a kid.
My father, a former Marine and Vietnam Vet, was undiagnosed with PTSD until I was 19.
I wanted my dad's love in a way that I understood. I wanted warmth, understanding, and the truth, delivered to me with emotional availability.
Even with all of the "inner work" Ive done to reset my nervous system, to learn breathing techniques for anxiety and peace,
Even with the meditation practices, the presence-ing techniques, the time away from stressful office jobs,
The old familiar still lingers in the background.
The familiars are what I've invested time and energy and LIFE into.
My life is made up of familiar habits, familiar people and unfamiliar people who might become familiar.
Family can be familiar, or family can feel like strangers.
It depends on whether you've grown up around them; whether they have allowed closeness with you.
Did this post resonate on some level? Share your thoughts with me: YesandJAmie@gmail.com
